Do you like me?
circle yes or no
Ahhhhh the simple days. And I can remember thinking those times were confusing. When Carl and I began dating we went on dates. There was no process....no facebook...no texting....no internet....no "rules" per say...no open relationship....no friends with benefits....no medical testing....no backgrounds/records check. He sent a note and I circled yes. We dated and then we married.
My how times and people have changed. I don't like it. At 47 (and clinging on) I am learning the world of this social happening. I must admit I did met Todd through an internet dating website. That thought sounds hideous. Years ago I would have never accepted applicationsfor dating purposes. I was not desperate for companionship. Heres my reasoning for utilizing this modern approach to dating.....
1. I wanted a God lover and FOLLOWER. Subject closed.
2. I am snobbish/picky....I prefer the term seriously selective.
3.I didn't not want to date anyone incredibly ugly. Now, granted at times the pictures looked better than real life! I am just thankful I found a good picture of Pamela Anderson to use as my profile picture!
4.I did not need anyone to be responsible for me financially and I certainly did not want to raise anyone financially whom I did not give birth to. I did not want a sugga daddy and I am not a sugga momma.....though one person, who shall remain anonymous, thought I would be. Hey, I learned to do record/background check. Oh and I preferred individuals who completed education from daycare, elementary, high school and college.
5. I do work...at home. However mine is a family oriented business. The men I converse with professionally come complete with beautiful wives and children.
6. The club scene....I tried that and had to carry a club. Not that I am that gorgeous but after a few drinks, the girls do get prettier at closing time and the men get more obnoxious. The words "No thank you" seems to have meant "keep stalking and I will change my mind".
The internet social site saved me 2 hours of awkwardness and sometimes very boring conversation or silence depending on the date. It also saved me the 50 bucks for dinner/interview only to realize it was wasted. And it also saved the guys, feeling the entitlement of a kiss because they paid for dinner, the sting from rejection of said entitlement.
Okay...it may have been a little ego enhancer to log on and see the 100000000000000 applicants that "liked" me. I believe the term was "winked" which in retrospect grosses me out. Ego enhancers at 47 and new at this thing were nice. Nice UNTIL you click view the prospects photo. Seriously?????? I am country and we all know I love overalls but a man in overalls complete with dirt (or at least I hope it was!) on his clothes is disgusting. And maybe I forgot to mention please have all your teeth, no uni-brow, clean fingernails and refrain from pictures which include your Penthouse calendar in the background.
Fast forward 5 dates and one nightmare of a relationship.......I met a nice man. Actually met him a year ago.
Seeing someone: From what I understand you begin by "seeing" someone. I guess you look at them and decide (mutually) that each other is worthy of "seeing" each other. Ok, that totally makes sense.....but what if you are blind? Do you never get to move forward to the "dating' phase? And what do you do when you "see" them?
Dating phase: after "seeing" someone you decide to date them. Now, if the dating stage is when you date them, what do you do during the seeing stage? Just stand/sit there and look at them? And from what I understand dating is when you decide to only date that one person. Can you "see" ( just stare at) others but not date them??? And I thought the term date means to make old. Oh wait...if you date the wrong person they can definitely age you......see above reference to anonymous loser.
In a relationship phase: After you see and date you reach the "in a relationship" stage. Now I must say that thank you to facebook, because of their info section, I was aware of this stage. PHEW! Unfortunately, no really fortunately in this case, I also knew when I was out of a relationship thanks to facebook. Yea, no call, no meeting, just a "single" where "in a relationship" use to be. Again, note anonymous loser reference. From what I understand with the information gathered from these 15 year olds....this is a serious stage. You text each other constantly and go out on dates regularly. Life pretty much revolves around each other. It goes beyond the carrying of your books at school. You and him and him and you. That's the total existence of the world.
After this serious in depth conversation I walked away feeling overwhelmed. How would I remember all of this? And they didn't mention the time frame of each phase. What if I jumped to the next phase too soon? Too late? They also did not mention what if you each have children? How does that work? Since we both have cars who drives? And since we are "old" we have learned there is more in the world than just each other....how do we work all that in? These are just a few of the mental dilemmas the race through my mind. Honestly, after thinking and processing all of this I am often too tired to go out and see someone, date someone, let lone be in a relationship.
I like the old way better.....
I like you.
Do you like me?
Circle yes or no.
He circled yes. Right now I am happy with that.
No comments:
Post a Comment